LOVE: Adjective or Verb?
If one were asked to describe love, they would probably attempt to convey blue skies with fluffy clouds, fluid harps and lovers embracing with whispering sweet-nothings, kisses and long stares. My counsel to those in this "love coma" and to those misguided souls who think that the word "love" in itself is a blanket statement that warrants no thought or movement after the fact that those three words pass their lips, is that love is not a description. Love is a verb, an action word. Action means doing, saying, and moving.
Love is more than passion and an ecstatic "I love you too." Love means more than sharing a cup of coffee, a gross sharing of toothbrush or proverbial e-mail. Love means "show me." Many overlook this clear reality and end up just like undisclosed coffee crystals in the bottom of a cup and wonder after several years down the road where they went wrong.
People tell me that chivalry is dead, but I say, NO! Chivalry isn't dead, just taking a nap. Wake it up, resurrect it! Yes, you made the first move, took her out to dinner at the finest restaurant in your city and walked her back to her apartment and didn't pressure her for that first kiss, but now you're far beyond that. You want to be the only sunshine in her life, and the only hose watering her lawn, so be innovative. We put our best foot forward when we date, maybe we were overly generous and flattering trying to sell ourselves like an item marked down 50% off on a clearance rack, but you need to continue to convey these things to keep them. You have to be a literal court jester, if you will. And if your grandmother never told you, I'm telling you, women love with spontaneity! They love to be wooed. We don't want to feel like furniture. We aren't in your lives to be overlooked, underappreciated, disregarded or sat on.
You say you love her? Or maybe you feel it and you're just holding back those words that you think will change her into a fire-breathing dragon once she knows how you feel? Be brave Robin Hood! Why feel something that you can't say? The tomorrows of love aren't promised.
Carpe diem - Seize the day! Love means much more than just words. Love means reaching for her hand in the supermarket between the honeydew melons and the tangerines. Love means not making her have to arm wrestle you for popcorn just because you're holding the bucket.
Love means, "I heard you mention that you wanted this new CD so I went out and got it for you just so you won't have to." Love means "I know you hate scary movies and action flicks and I hate love stories but I'll sit through 'You've Got Mail', and enjoy every minute of it, just for you." Love means calling just to say goodnight, not just because she asked you to or because you feel obligated, but because the sound of her voice lulls you to sleep. Love is doing!
Listen guys, it's not about Prada and Fendi. Not more on Max Mara or a Coach tote bag! It makes no difference to the average woman if it's a Godiva or a Snickers bar, just give it because it's always the little things that we remember anyway. We want to hear the words "I love you," yes, and at the same time, since words can be empty words, we want to feel it too. Sure we appreciate the fancy dinner by candlelight, but sharing that double mocha fudge ice cream cone with the candy sprinkles was a romantic gesture too. Bottom line--words are empty without actions to back them up. You heard the parable about the fig tree? It bore no fruit. It was cursed to die.
See, we don't care how you show it, just convey love any way you know how. Love to us can mean something as simple as "you" learning to write poetry that doesn't necessarily have to make sense or rhyme. Love can be a song on a cassette. Love is knowing her favorite perfume and buying it because when you hug her, she leaves her scent all over you, and you secretly like that. Love could actually know who makes her favorite lipstick and buying her a tube, especially when she's at the point of digging the last of it out with her fingernail or accompanying her for a job interview and waiting in line until it’s her turn. Love is assuring the person that you have his/her back at times when you know the world rests on his/her shoulders.
Whether you're in a long distance relationship or living right next door to the love of your life, realize that there is more than e-cards. The old-school, cheesy Hallmark cards, amidst the cynicisms, can still work wonders…give Mr. Cupid a break, will you? Let the mailman know he's delivering some love inside.
This is life, take risks! You love her? Make your words entice, work, talk, move, express. Breathe life in your love before it whither into a pile of wet leaves. Or if you're simply one of those uncreative souls who are simply unmoved by the ideas here but still can't manage a thought of your own, the least you can do is learn to say I love you in any other language than your own. How about French? "Je taime." She'd do it for you, and chances are she already has.
I still believe in LOVE, be it the verb, or the adjective, for I have a proper noun to associate it with--whose ways and means of letting me know that I am loved in return has thought me all of these and for whom I am dedicating this blog for.
No comments:
Post a Comment